One piece of wisdom that dominates the writing world and is passed on at every opportunity, is the injunction ‘write don’t tell’. What does it mean? I’ll try to demonstrate.
Your character wants to buy a dress for her show. Now that she has the money, she has the courage to walk into Emporia Armani and buy it in spite of having to interact with the shop-assistants whom she finds intimidating.
Telling
Serena saw the perfect dress for her show, displayed in the window of Emporio Armani. The thought of dealing with the snobbish looking assistants had always made her nervous before, but she could feel the money in her pocket today and that gave her the courage to go in and try on the dress.
Showing
Serena stopped walking and turned, as if in slow motion, to see The Red Dress in the window of Emporio Armani It was perfect. The dress of her fantasies, every detail the way she had dreamed. She stood riveted, taking in the form, the fabric, the colour, the movement of the dress. Digging deep down into her pocket, she closed her fingers round a great wad of notes her father had given her. ‘For you, Serena,’ he said. ‘I’ve been saving it for the day you’d be taking the stage.’ It was still there. It hadn’t vanished into thin air. She braced herself and stepped into the boutique.
Inside, she stood for a moment, savouring the atmosphere, looking around at her stylish surroundings. A shop-assistant caught her eye and then looked away. Serena felt the familiar feeling of discomfort but shook it off instantly. This time, she would not be intimidated by snobs who assumed they knew about her life. This time, she had the money. She turned to the man next to her.
'Excuse me,’ she said. ‘Could I try on the dress in the window? The red one.’
‘Of course, ma’am,’ he replied. Was it her imagination or was he reluctant, checking her out? Wondering if she’d be a waste of time?
‘Size 8, I think,’ she said, brushing away the thought, already imagining herself in the dress.
You get it? It's as if you're there, with Serena. It's a way of reeling in your reader. Try to think in scenes – as if your ideas are all little technicolour movies running in your mind.
CREATING A SCENE
Before sitting down to write, spend a few moments thinking about your content. Eg. your character meets someone on the way from work to the sandwich shop.
Visualise it. (If ‘told’, it could read, ‘She nipped out of the office without being spotted by the boss and made her way to the coffee shop. The aroma of coffee trailed round the corner as if to greet her. ‘Hello,’ a voice said. ‘You’re Jane, aren’t you?’
But if you visualise the scene, you’ll make it much more visual and much, much fuller. The highlighted phrases above could all be unpacked and elucidated and the three sentences could actually be two, maybe even three, fully developed scenes, each one rich in possibilities.
Consider some of the following steps.
The set-up
What’s going on in the office and how does the main character fit into it?
Why is the main character ‘trying to slip away’?
What steps are they taking to get away?
Has the reader been told already? Do you need to go back and plant the information?
If not, is it revealed now?
Does some irritating person keep creating obstacles to the character leaving? How?
What’s the atmosphere like? (A window for humour here? Or tension?)
Do they manage to slip out without being noticed by someone who always wants to come along, or bring something back?
The build-up
Where do they find themselves once they’re out of the office?
What do they feel/think en route to the shop?
What does it look like around them?
What do they see, smell or hear?
Does anything happen on the way?
Is there a point to the scene in terms of story/plot/opportunity?
Is this journey just a link to the next bit important scene?
Is it an interlude which gives us time to understand/know the character better?
Build suspense?
Plant information to pick up on later?
Create a period of rest before the next bit of drama?
If it does not serve a purpose consider taking it out. Cut to the meeting-place.
The Meeting
How does the character bump into the ‘friend’?
What is their reaction? Physical and psychological?
What do they see?
What does the other person see?
What is the point of the meeting?
How do they introduce themselves?
Is either of them in a crisis?
Does one of them help the other?
Have they met for the first time?
Is their a past?
Does one of them know something that the other doesn’t?
Climax and resolution
What happens next – eg. do they go into the coffee chop together?
Do they arrange a meeting?
Do they exchange some important information and go their separate ways?
Does one of them introduce a note of conflict?
What is the drama in this scene? Emotional? Practical? Actual? Perceived?
What feeling is your main character left with?
What will the impact be on the characters?
Will it affect the narrative?
Can you find a cliff-hanger to end this on?
You now have two distinct scenes, each one with a distinct flavour of its own, which helps texture your piece.
It is much more visual and detailed and therefore, real for the reader.
Just as importantly, each scene contains a point and conflict or tension that is quite specific to the situation.
See you tomorrow. |
